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6 Secrets From the Least Messaged Man on OkCupid

at 5:04 pm | By

A survey conducted by OkCupid determined that, out of every single straight man using their dating service, I was the “least messaged.” That means literally 0 women have sent even a single message to me. No one has asked me out. No one has even bothered to reject me, they just never write back.

I don’t exactly why this is happening, but if you wanna check out some of my strategies so you know what NOT to do, keep reading.

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Credit: MAMAboyxoxo

Here’s what not to do with your OkCupid profile.


Don’t make this your profile photo


Source: Instagram @blokeyman

For some reason this hasn’t been working for me? I don’t know what else they want from me? I’m showing women I can protect them (the gun), that I like to party (the daiquiri), and that I have great fashion taste (the bathing suit). I guess maybe they don’t like the tattoo?

I had some pics of me in an inflatable pool filled with hot dogs. That one didn’t work either.

Stop calling yourself ‘rolling hills of thunder’ in third person throughout your profile

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Credit: MAMAboyxoxo

I did it, and no girl has messaged me back, ever. Even after I offered them “a tumble down the rolling hill” and asked if “anyone wants to get thunderstruck,” there were no offers. I even clarified that being thunderstruck meant sex and still, nothing!