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7 Signs That You’re Lonely

at 12:48 pm | By
(Photo by shutterstock)

(Photo by shutterstock)

Let’s face it, we all feel a little lonely from time to time. But some of us feel really lonely, and we can’t help but wonder what’s wrong.

So how do you tell the difference between just a casual it’ll-pass-soon loneliness and some serious, deep-seeded loneliness that may require real help to cure? Here’s 7 signs that you’re lonely.

You find yourself zoning out in front of the TV for hours on end.

A passive activity like watching television is an easy distraction from our problems. If you’re feeling a little isolated, it’s very common to sit in front of the TV and zone out. If you find yourself replacing social time with TV time, you might be feeling a little lonely.

Increased social media use.

Often times, we find ourselves looking to social media to replace real connections. Ramping up your use of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and related services can be one of the first signs of increased loneliness. Even though we feel a burst of momentary happiness when a post receives a like or a retweet, that feeling is fleeting compared to sustained, interpersonal relationships.

You attempt too much small talk at yoga class.

You’ve been trying to get healthier lately, so you’ve been doing yoga. Except yoga’s not just the only physical activity you do, it’s also the only time you’re around a group of people. So you mention the weather to four people in a row, hoping it’ll lead to a substantive conversation but it never does. Sound familiar? You might be lonely.

(Photo by shutterstock)

(Photo by shutterstock)

You ate a carton of ice cream with your shirt off at a yoga class.

You’ve grown tired of Tiffany, Sandra and Eric spurning your repeated attempts at striking up a friendship. They’ve done nothing to alleviate your deep thirst for human connection, so you try the next best thing: an entire carton of moose tracks ice cream. Only you’re not gonna eat this alone, in the privacy of your home, no, you’re going to make those assholes face what they’ve done to you. You’re gonna march into yoga class and eat that entire half gallon of frozen sugar and cream in front of them. Once it gets messy enough, you’re going to take your shirt off. If this is something you’ve done, you’re probably lonely.

Your mom doesn’t love you and never has.

From your earliest moments on this Earth you’ve felt a distance between you and the one person that, biologically, is supposed to always support you. You’ve always suspected your mother never loved you, and it turns out you’re right. Your mother doesn’t love you and never has, and because of that you feel sad and lonely.

In fact, you’ve chased everyone that ever loved you away with your rude, awful behavior.

It might be tempting to blame your mother for not loving you. It would be easy to think of her as some kind of outlier that would never have loved her child no matter what kind of person they were, but you would be wrong to think that. It’s your fault that your mother doesn’t love you. It’s the rude, awful behavior you exhibited from the moment you were born. That same selfish, boorish attitude is the reason everyone that ever loved you won’t return your calls. Remember when you never visited Anthony in the hospital? Remember when you met Claire’s parents for the first (and last) time and you wouldn’t stop arguing with her father about the existence of God? Those are the reasons you’re lonely.

You’re a fat idiot named Carl.

Who are we kidding Carl: the small talk, the yoga, the alienation of your loved ones —it’s all because you’re a fat idiot. Take a long look in the mirror, buddy. You’re a stupid waste of space — a vapid, bloviating mass of fat cells, hanging off an over-worked skeleton. You never tried hard in school. You never tried to eat right or exercise and you were always insecure about those two facts. Well, now, you’re 42 and single and it might be too late, pal. Your misery runs so deep, you can even see the contempt in the eyes of the prostitutes you frequent. Just die, Carl.

If all of this is true — you might be lonely, too!