A screaming, microphone throwing JJ Watt, vehemently denied steroid use at a Texans press conference today. As he addressed the media following team practice, Watt, a 6’5, almost three hundred pound man, without an ounce of fat on him, took offense to the comments made by a Houston Chronicle beat reporter who asked “JJ, you look like you’re in incredible shape — maybe the best shape of your career. What’s your secret?”
Watt, turning red in the face and gripping the podium he was speaking in front of increasingly tightly, retorted by asking the reporter what he was implying.
“Secret? What kind of secret do you think I have, like steroids or something?” an increasingly animated Watt shouted, flexing his 34 inch biceps so hard the seams of his shirt began to tear.
“Does this look like someone on steroids to you?” Watt screamed at the top of his lungs. At this point he had completely removed his shirt, the veins in his considerably large neck protruding noticeably.
The reporters attempts to subdue Watt were completely unsuccessful. “J.J. please calm down, I was making a little joke. It was a compliment.”
Watt then asked the reporter if he believed flying furniture was a funny joke, before grabbing a handful of chairs and launching them into the crowd of assembled press personal.
“Seriously, could a guy on steroids do this?” Watt asked the terrified journalists, while running out to the parking lot of the training facility, where he squatted an entire Ford F-150 pick up truck.
For their part, the Texans released a statement calling the “whole ordeal a misunderstanding” and attributing Watt’s behavior to “an excess amount of coffee.”
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6’5, almost 300 pound man with no fat on his frame outraged by the accusation.