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After Decades Long Quest Researchers Finally Discover A Weirder Al

at 4:35 pm | By

And he's really f*cking weird

 
Man with egg in mouth considered to be weirder Al

Credit: Anna Bryukhanova/iStock

After a decades long quest, researchers from the University of California Berkeley have finally discovered a Weirder Al.“They said it couldn’t be done — that the weirdest thing an Al could do was launch a career based solely on song parodies, making dumb faces, and having luxurious, thick, curly hair well into his 50’s, but our research definitively proves otherwise,” a triumphant Anthony Osbourne, head of the of the Berkeley Sociology Department, told reporters today.Osbourne’s research identified Al Timesch, a 41-year-old man of Dundalk, Maryland as a weirder Al. Below, find a bulleted list of some of Timesch’s “Weird” Traits
  • Carries around a bag of hardboiled eggs and eats them at the movies instead of popcorn.
  • Even though he wears a size 34 waist, all his belts are size 40, for “extra belt real estate.”
  • Grows out nail on his right index finger really long for no apparent reason.
  • Has extreme brand loyalty to the Eddie Bauer clothing company.
  • Favorite N’Sync member was Chris Kirkpatrick.
  • Has never seen an episode of Seinfeld.
  • Eats cans of tuna with mustard.
  • Publicly rollerblades.
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