And he’s really f*cking weird
After a decades long quest, researchers from the University of California Berkeley have finally discovered a Weirder Al.
“They said it couldn’t be done — that the weirdest thing an Al could do was launch a career based solely on song parodies, making dumb faces, and having luxurious, thick, curly hair well into his 50’s, but our research definitively proves otherwise,” a triumphant Anthony Osbourne, head of the of the Berkeley Sociology Department, told reporters today.
Osbourne’s research identified Al Timesch, a 41-year-old man of Dundalk, Maryland as a weirder Al. Below, find a bulleted list of some of Timesch’s “Weird” Traits
- Carries around a bag of hardboiled eggs and eats them at the movies instead of popcorn.
- Even though he wears a size 34 waist, all his belts are size 40, for “extra belt real estate.”
- Grows out nail on his right index finger really long for no apparent reason.
- Has extreme brand loyalty to the Eddie Bauer clothing company.
- Favorite N’Sync member was Chris Kirkpatrick.
- Has never seen an episode of Seinfeld.
- Eats cans of tuna with mustard.
- Publicly rollerblades.
Do you know an Al that’s even weirder? SHARE this article and tell us your story.