News so real... it probably isn't

Anonymous Outs Members of Congress as Blue Men Group

at 3:35 pm | By



Source: Instagram @facelessvapes

This week, the hacking group known as Anonymous released a list of hundreds of government officials allegedly involved with or actively performing as members of the Blue Man Group. The group, recognized by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a racist and terrorist organization, is connected to numerous unsolved racially-motivated murders.

While many were unsurprised to hear that several members of the federal government had active ties to the Ku Klux Klan, few were prepared for the news of the Blue Man Group revelations. Especially considering the Blue Man groups reputation as the most racist hate group in the United States.

“It’s basically like the Klan on steroids,” said an SPLC representative. “Except the steroids make you do more racism, instead of being stronger.”

“A lot of people think they’re just men in blue latex paint who play drums,” noted a twitter activist, referring to the Blue Man Group, who have performed internationally since 1991. “But they’re much more than that. They’ve killed at least 60 unarmed black men this year alone.”

Representative Robert B Aderholt, Representative Kevin Brady, and Senator Christopher A. Coons comprise the current roster of Blue Men, and their performances this week at the Astor Place theatre in New York have been cancelled.

Democratic representative Peter DeFazio of Florida was quick to deny the accusations on social media, writing; “I am not, nor have I ever been, a blue man. My skin is white and it stays that way. Sometimes I get a bit tan in the summer but I’ve never even been close to being blue or any kind of ridiculous shade like that. I am racist though.”

“It’s disgusting,” said Bart Smith, a fan of all music except Blue Man music. “To think that the people who make decisions for our country go out at night and dress up as blue men; that they just play drums and entertain tourists. And then they’re racist, too. That part is also bad. I just don’t want to live in that world.”

Wasn’t Blue Men Group show pretty cool, though? SHARE if you agree!