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Arby’s Happy to Help Kill Cops

at 3:53 pm | By

Because this food is basically poison.

arbys sign and a cop funeral

Source: Instagram @dispatchargus (L); @knowproblem (R)

Arby’s CEO Paul Brown announced that he’s happy his products lead to the deaths of police officers. Brown– whose restaurants have come under fire after a Pembrook Pines, Florida location refused service to a police officer– attempted to make amends with the law enforcement community with a statement released yesterday.

“Cops can be mad at us all they want, but let’s be honest with ourselves, refusing service to a police officer was the safest thing our employee could have done for him. Have you tasted our food? It sucks. The Horsey Sauce is just spoiled mayonnaise that we put horseradish in so no one will be able to tell it’s gone bad.”

Brown then went on to explain that he feels his employee should be commended. “This young man, by discriminating against the police, saved this officer from a sandwich chock full of cholesterol, fat, and preservatives. But if they wanna keep eating our garbage and dying, that’s fine with me.”

At press time, Brown was trying to convince doctors, fireman, and other important community figures to eat a salad rather than patronize his restaurants.

Do you support cops death by french fries, or would you refuse service, too? SHARE and let us know!