“Wouldn’t that be so…chill?”
Democratic presidential hopeful and Vermont hippie, Bernie Sanders, has been sweeping the nation, gathering crowds surpassing 28,000 as of recent. His plan is simple: take government out of the hands of big business and back into the hands of the people. Part of this plan includes debt-free college, prison reform, and—most importantly—a new national anthem by his favorite band, Phish.
“Being from Vermont, I’ve spent a lot of time cruising to the sweet sounds of Phish. And if I’m president, we’ll make a new national anthem for all the wookies out there,” said Sanders during his latest speech in Portland, Oregon. By no surprise, the predominately white, organic-loving crowd of Portlanders LOVED this idea and cheered ferociously.
“Living in Vermont has taught me to open my mind, man,” Sanders stated, “And that’s why I think this 13 minute track entitled “Ventura ’98 Soundcheck Jam” should represent America from now on.” Sanders then proceeded to rip a bowl and blast a Phish Greatest Hits cassette over the loud speaker.
Wouldn’t a Phish track be so chill as a new national anthem? SHARE if you think so!