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Carly Fiorina Wins Meaningless Debate By Using 8th Grade Reading Skills

at 10:12 am | By
 (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina was the star of the JV Republican presidential debate last week, proving she is reading at at least an 8th Grade level, two levels above all other happy hour candidates.

Fiorina out performed opponents like former New York governor George Pataki—who, it appears actually isn’t dead like most people assumed—but she’s taking her victory with a grain of salt.

“I’d compare it to shooting fish in a barrel, but even that seems harder than beating people like Bobby Jindal and Rick Santorum in a contest of intelligence and eloquence,” Fiorina was quoted as saying.

After hearing those comments Jindal responded by saying “aw c’mon” while Santorum was infuriated that a woman was even allowed to compete in a debate without her husband’s permission.

Other highlights of the Happy Hour debate included Rick Perry thinking it was literally a Happy Hour, showing up drunk, and constantly trying to coax Lindsay Graham and Jim Gilmore into taking Jager Bombs with him.

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