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Congressman That Introduced No Gov No Pay Mysteriously Killed by Anvil

at 3:24 pm | By

Body did not bounce back up like an accordian.


anvil falling on rick nolan's head

Source: Twitter @BringMN; Shutterstock

United States House of Representatives member Rick Nolan was mysteriously killed yesterday just hours after introducing a bill that would withhold pay to members of congress during a government shutdown. Nolan was struck by an anvil that somehow fell off of the top of the U.S. Capitol building.

Speaker of the house John Boehner released a statement addressing the tragedy this morning, saying “It is truly a shame what has befallen my good friend and former colleague Rick Nolan. The only thing that gives me solace in his death is that it may serve as a learning experience. Specifically, a learning experience for any of my other colleagues that might be considering legislation that would take money out of hardworking legislators pockets just because of a little old government shutdown. I think God taught us a valuable lesson about what happens to people that try and introduce no government – no pay legislation today: Their skulls get crushed.”

Currently there are no suspects or first hand accounts of the accident, as the only two witnesses to the event were found dead minutes before they were scheduled to provide a statement to federal authorities. In a strange coincidence, anvils were also dropped on their heads.

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