“His attempt to hug me looked like a gun.”
A police officer who shot and killed a Chuck E. Cheese Mascot, also known as Charles Entertainment Cheese, inside a Lexington, Kentucky location yesterday was relieved to find that the person inside of the costume was black.
“That was a close call,” admitted officer Stanley Johnson. “I assumed the only person poor enough to accept a job this shitty would be a minority, but then for a second I thought ‘what if this was a summer job for a rich white teen whose parents are trying to scare them into doing well in college?’”
Luckily for Johnson, under the mouse mask was just Arthur Davis, a black teenager working nights and weekends to help put his younger siblings through private school.
At press time, the Lexington Police Department was leaking unrelated details about a misdemeanor Davis committed as a juvenile and coaching Officer Johnson to say the phrase “I felt my life was threatened” and cry on command.
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Officer relieved that a cover up to a murder will be easy to execute.