World Health Organization officials stormed The Hundred Acre Wood this past Friday in hopes of finding answers to a deadly new strain of E. coli that has swept through the United Kingdom.
Area hospitals saw nearly 1000 cases before the WHO caught the break they were looking for.
After a full week of checking all possible sources for the fast-spreading illness, a familiar character checked into a Sussex emergency room giving officials their first viable lead. Piglet, the small pig child from the Winnie the Pooh books, was brought in with what appeared to be severe food poisoning, a telltale symptom of E. coli.
Officials quickly brought Pooh in for testing. 3 hours later they had confirmation that the aloof bear was in fact patient zero. While doctors tried to explain the extremity of the situation, the willy, nilly, silly old bear didn’t seem to give one flying bother about it.