“Nuts you can count on!”
Independent presidential hopeful Deez Nuts has announced his running mate already. While Democratic and Republican candidates are still waiting for the ticket from their political party, Independents are able to move ahead as no one can stop them. Deez Nuts has chosen Seymour Butts, an astro-physicist who mainly studies Uranus, as a running mate.
Deez Nuts has recently gained traction in the polls, moving to 9%, lagging behind Clinton and Trump by over a couple dozen points each. That’s not stopping Mr. Nuts from encouraging his supporters to get out there and grab his campaign by the balls.
“We can’t rest until Deez Nuts is all over television, and on the faces of the American people.” said Nuts campaign manager Mike Hunt. “We imagine one day Deez Nuts on a hundred dollar bill or on Mount Rushmore.”
Nuts’s running mate Butts is happy to join the team. “I may be a little behind Nuts, but I’m happy to support him in anyway possible.”
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“These two have a fighting chance,” says campaign manager Mike Hunt.