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Drought and Booming Pot Sales Leave California Mouths Exceptionally Dry

at 3:23 pm | By
dry-mouth 420

(Photo by Farce)

Despite dire circumstances, Californians are maintaining a tongue-in-cheek tone about their situation. Maybe it’s just their nature, or maybe it’s because their tongues are stuck there thanks to severe dry mouth caused by the intense drought and strong marijuana being sold across the state.

“I haven’t seen a cloud since W. was still in office. If this keeps up I’ll have to drink my bong water,” said one red-eyed woman standing in line at the posh water bar, Aquanauts.

“This place is drier than a late-night British sitcom, and that was before I ripped a big bowl of this organic lamb’s breath sativa. Now my mouth feels like it’s made of saltine crackers and chalk, but it’s like, chill though,” said a Santa Monica man who identified himself as Prince Ion the Frosty.

Despite the casual attitude of some golden state stoners, the situation is quite serious. With no rain in the forecast and thick smoke in the air, protests have begun forming with dozens of people carrying “legalize rain” posters.