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DUI Legal Limit Raised from .08 To ‘Drunk-Enough-To-Eat-At-Denny’s’

at 4:15 pm | By

(Photo by shutterstock)

(Photo by shutterstock)

After years of controversy regarding the validity of DUI field sobriety tests, the answer to the question, “Would you eat at Denny’s right now?” has proven to be indisputable. Pinecrest Police Chief Jim Williams says, “It’s 100% effective. There has never been one person who has answered yes to Denny’s that has ever proven to be sober.”

The Yes/No question “Would you eat at Denny’s right now?” will take over the standard ‘walk the straight line’ and ‘recite the alphabet backwards’ field sobriety tests, that prove too inconclusive. “Those other tests are not fool proof, we usually defer to the breathlyzer. But if someone says they want to eat Denny’s, the case is closed.” Williams smiled, “They’re going to be spending a night in the old grey bar hotel.”

When asked to comment, all Denny’s representatives were “too depressed about the fact we work at Denny’s” to answer.

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