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Easter Sunday Reminded Many Americans How Racist Grandma Is

at 1:08 pm | By

In a speech commemorating the 50th anniversary of Selma, President Obama said, “We know the march is not yet over. We know the race is not yet won…” and that sentiment could not be more true inside Grandma’s house.

As Americans gathered to share in the joy of Easter; to break bread and celebrate a religion based on love and forgiveness, many families were reminded that grandma is a nasty old b*tch.

“After a glorious mass led by the kind Father Lungile, a South African immigrant with incredible stories of faith and bravery, Grandma explained to us how Father, President Obama, and Al Sharpton were all terrorists planning to steal her butter,” claimed one disturbed granddaughter.

Even in African-American communities, the message is clear: Grandma is the worst. A new study shows that the majority of Grandmothers in a predominately African-American neighborhood hate everything from whites to television to buildings with red bricks.

One grandmother, upon stepping outside, claimed the sun made men contract ‘the gay’, at which point the entire LGBT community took one step back.

A similar study shown in a predominately white and another in a Latino community, bear the same results. Which begs the question, why are we keeping these old farts around?