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Father Willing to Have Son Trampled for $20 Off Flat Screen TV

at 2:13 pm | By

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Carlos Del Rosario of Newport, Rhode Island has been waiting outside a local Best Buy since Wednesday morning with his 12 year old son Juan in hopes to get, what Carlos calls, “a deal of a lifetime.”

This Black Friday, Best Buy is offering almost $20 off a 32″ flat screen HDTV. “That’s high definition,” Carlos reminds the reporters. “And I will do anything in my power to get that television.”

In the last few years, Black Fridays have often caused riots and serious injuries throughout the country. This year will be no different with companies pulling out all the stops for fabulous deals. By Thursday, the line had reached 30 deep and by Friday morning was around the block. Carlos felt lucky he would be one of the first in the store, but still knew he’d have a lot of trouble grabbing the television he wanted.

“They don’t let you know exactly where everything will be, so even if I’m first in line, I might not be able to make it to the television.” But not to worry, because Carlos has a plan. “That’s where my son Juan comes in. When they open those doors, I’m going to run forward while Juan is going to fake trip, hopefully causing a lot of panic within the line. That way I have plenty of time to make it to those TVs before anyone else does.”

We asked Carlos if he worried about the safety of his child. We asked if he might fear Juan could be trampled and possibly killed. With eyes almost possessed by the devil himself, Carlos answered, “Didn’t you hear me? $20 off an HDTV. That stands for high definition.”

Carlos then asked us to leave so he could prepare Juan with a series of helpless cries he’ll recite while lying on the ground.

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