News so real... it probably isn't

Female Rangers Now Prepared to Combat Rape from Fellow Officers

at 4:18 pm | By

(Photo by shutterstock)

Photo by shutterstock

For the first time in U.S. Army history, two women will graduate from the Army’s prestigious Ranger School. The program, which was only made available to women in January of this year, is notoriously grueling and designed to equip graduating soldiers with the elite fighting skills necessary to ward off skilled enemy combatants or, in the case of female soldiers, thwart the unwanted sexual advances of a fellow soldier.

One of the female lieutenants who spoke to the Farce Report on the condition of anonymity revealed she was “very excited” to have completed the training and notes feeling prepared for any scenario.

“Whether I’m in the desert, face to face with an ISIS combatant, or at the bar on base with my creepy commanding officer looking at me weird, I know I have the combat skills to come out alive and un-raped,” the Ranger School graduate told reporters.

Senior Army officials were unavailable for comment as they were busy retaliating against soldiers who reported being sexually assaulted.

Think these lady Rangers will be able to defend their own? SHARE and comment!

Share