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Financial Analyst Fired After Telling Clients To Stock Up On CVS ExtraCare Bucks

at 1:34 pm | By
Stock Broker Recommends CVS Extracare Bucks

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George Kellner had been employed at EMS Consulting for over a decade, but he finally had a moment of clarity. “I watched Wolf Of Wall Street, and it kind of glorified being a sleeze bag. I realized I don’t want to be one of those guys.”

Instead of giving the normal investment advice to clients, Kellner decided to take the honesty route. “This whole thing is a crapshoot, a scam. The stock market? Don’t get me started. The best return on money these days is spending it at CVS.” Kellner went on to say CVS Extra Care bucks can save you money on toiletries, groceries, and almost anything you need around the house.

One former client says, “I was kind of shocked that George didn’t want to invest my money. He just kept telling me to try the CVS Brand of toilet paper, and talked about how soft it was. I could tell he was kind of losing it.” Kellner was let go on Friday. A spokesman for EMS said the company “wishes George all the best.”