Parents and coaches to test all players for PED’s at the Coral Park Tee Ball League.
“We had seven kids hit more than 20 home runs last season,” said one coach. “I don’t know what they are taking, but I assure you it ain’t Flintstone Vitamins.”
The father of one player said he knew there was trouble when his boy asked for a Yankees jersey with number thirteen on it. “That’s when it hit me. Thirteen is A-Rod’s number! What kid roots for Alex Rodriguez? Even Yankee fans hate him. That’s when I knew these kids might be on the juice too.”
It’s not just the increase in offensive stats that has parents worried about kids being under the influence.
There’s also been several physical altercations and bench-clearing brawls recently that are uncharacteristic of 4 and 5 year olds.
Team Mother, Susan Kerns stated, “I saw a five-year-old boy lift the bench over his head and throw it at an umpire after he was called out. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
We contacted the umpire, who quit after the incident. He agreed that the players have changed.
“Most kids used to just stare at the ground and laugh during the entire game, but there’s a lot of anger out there now. They are all hopped on something. I’m glad the league is getting to the bottom of it.”