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Fruit Finally Comes Out of Closet

at 1:57 pm | By

“It’s about damn time!” boys chanted at their local bar, The Cockpit, as they celebrated this special day. Their favorite fruit has finally come out of the closet.

“We’ve known this fruit for so many years, and all of us knew…” claimed Greg Bruner, a smooth-faced man who also goes by the drag name Cha-Cha DiGrego. “But you never want to pressure any fruit to come out of the closet, you need to respect their decision, and let them come out of the closet for themselves.”

Cha-Cha’s friend, Stanley, thought differently. “Listen, a fruits a fruit, whether it’s hiding in the closet or not. The only difference, is when a fruits in the closet, I can’t put my lips on it, and taste that sweet skin.”

The two friends laughed as Cha-Cha added, “Unless you’re in the closet with it!”

No one knows why this fruit decided to finally come out of the closet. As American society is becoming more accepting, thanks to the help of Michelle Obama and the “Let’s Move” campaign, many fruits are exposing their true selves to the world. Last year Cha-Cha brought pineapple and mango out of the closet for a tropical-themed party. This year, banana decided to make an appearance and everyone couldn’t be happier.