Everyone's first time is different... These guys' firsts were very different!
His time to shine!
Holy hell, my time has come.
So there we were, on deployment in Thailand. I was 22, and we had a weekend of liberty to go out on the town. We decided to make the 4 hour pilgrimage to Bangkok (We’re on the train to Bangkok!!) So it was well known in my group that I was a virgin, and was truly not looking for anything but some sightseeing and exploring.
Anyhow, that night we ended up at a bar called the Pink Panther. (Go-go dancers and live muy Thai fights. Who could pass that up?). So I was about 6 long islands in, and we each had a dancer on our lap. Everyone was talking and laughing, it was really a good time. Then a couple of my friends got up and said they would be right back. Not unusual for these guys to go off on some goofy adventure so I didn’t think much of it.
What they had actually done was go out, find a street drug dispenser, and try to haggle for cheap knockoff Thai street viagara. That is a whole story in itself, but needless to say they were successful. By the time they returned, I was a couple more long islands down. They got back, crushed up the viagara, and mixed it into my drink. Yeah, it tasted like bitter chalk, and yeah I knew something was weird. I said something about my drink being nasty, and my friend told me that he had squeezed a lime into it. My drunk brain thought that was a perfectly valid answer, so I carried on.
It wasn’t much long after this that my dancer got up and walked away. I didn’t think much of it, just figured my time was up. Then Mama-san came over and asked for, like, 30 bucks or something. I figured I was paying for the girl sitting on my lap for the past couple hours, so I happily obliged. Seemed more than reasonable.
Anyhow, shortly after that, the girl showed back up in her streets with card that had my hotels address on it and room number (the viagara friends are a couple of sneaky bastards). They already had a cab waiting and gave her the card because they knew I wouldn’t remember the name of the hotel. So we go back, and I’m still completely confident that i can resist the temptation (she was absolutely gorgeous).
We get back to the room and she tells me to take a shower. I guess this was customary, and I needed one anyway so no biggie. I take my shower, get out and lay on the bed and wonder how im going to get out if this as she takes her shower. Anyhow, she comes out wearing nothing but the complimentary hotel bathrobe (all closed up though).
Can’t turn down AC/DC
She stands at the foot of the bed and asks to see my phone. I’m like, sure why not? It’s merely a camera and music device this point since I don’t have cell service or anything. Well, I’ll be damned if she didn’t put on “Shook Me All Night Long” by AC-DC, and proceed to strip the robe. Checkmate. You win.
Oh, and viagara is miserable. The whole next day, every little thing caught the little guys attention. Not to mention your lower abdominal muscles are sore as hell. I thought I caught a damn std (yes I wore protection. Another check in the box for the thoroughness of my asshole friends) anyhow, no regrets. Didn’t lose it in the back of my car in high school like everyone else. It’s a story and a memory and apparently I’m still a legend of some sorts in my old unit.