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Gays Celebrate Legalized Marriage with Massive AIDS Boner Party

Jun 26, 2015 at 2:06 pm |
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gay pride party

(Photo by Getty / HECTOR GUERRERO)

The Supreme Court ruled today a 5-4 decision that all Americans ,regardless of their sexual orientation, now have the right to marry whomever they choose. This is great news for gay men, who are celebrating the decision by having a massive AIDS exchanging orgy throughout the meatpacking district.

The grandmaster, Elton John, who appeared at the stroke of the first willy, announced “Finally, we have the same rights of all Americans throughout the country. It’s time to celebrate, let me feel that bass around me and that viral load inside me.” At which point rainbows shot out of his crotch and descended onto the crowd.

The party, which spread onto the streets like an uncontrollable retrovirus, included many celebrities such as Alan Cumming, Neil Patrick Harris, Ted Cruz, and Ian Mckellen.

When we asked a few of the party-goers if they were worried about the fact that a cure for AIDS has yet to be found, many scoffed. “Didn’t you hear? The Supreme Court also approved the Obamacare subsidies!” said one twink covered in glitter.

Elton John to lead as grandmaster of ceremonies…

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