Earlier this week, local Flordian Jebidiah Horselin, avoided a brawl with a man that looked awfully familiar. Horselin recounted that Saturday night at the local Joe’s Crab Shack a man, drunk on Pina Coladas and shouting at a waitress. When Horselin came to break up the dispute, the large, potato-like figure threw a punch at him.
“I don’t know who this man was and why he was so angry, but no one throws punches at ol’Jebidiah,” said Horselin. Fortunately, the Crab Shack’s management broke up the tussle before any serious skulls were cracked amid the cracking of shells. “The man kept shouting, ‘I’m invincible! I’m invincible!’ as a waiter handed him a small doggy bag of coleslaw and curly fries.”
Horselin stepped outside to watch the man stumble to his Honda Ridgeline. Horseline remembered the man, later identified as George Zimmerman, and looked into the side rearview mirror of his truck asking himself in a moment of clarity, “Can someone just shoot me in the face already?” before stepping into the car and driving away.
Horselin was obviously surprised to see the man’s face trending on the news to what most deem the incident a miracle.