“Every once in awhile you have to let them almost win so losing hurts even more.”
Speaking directly to the Farce Report, God confirmed that he was, in fact, torturing Mets Fans on purpose following the team’s brutal world series loss to the Kansas City Royals.
The All-Powerful, Creator of the Entire Universe, explained that the Mets’ near victory was part of an overall plan to keep fans of the New York team devastated for years to come.
“Yeah, in 2001, I had Mets fans lose in a Subway Series, just because I knew it would hurt extra bad if the Yankees beat ’em,” God laughed to himself, while fastening the top button on his Derek Jeter Jersey.
“This time though, I made it even worse. I had them cruise through the playoffs and face a team they actually had a pretty good shot at beating, only to have them lose in front of their home crowd!” at this point, God needed pause our interview because he was doubled over with laughter.
“Anyway yeah the Mets are gonna suck for 10 more years, but every once in a while, you have to tease ‘em to really torture them.”
God then concluded our interview, as he was planning to invite Lou Gehrig, Joe Dimaggio, and Babe Ruth over to his house for a sex party with Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Audrey Hepburn, and any other classic beauties the Yankee greats requested.
It appears God’s plans have worked flawlessly as construction sites and used car dealerships all across the Queens and Long Island areas were filled with the tears of grown men.
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