The only silver lining for the Green Bay Packers after a poor showing in their game with the Carolina Panthers yesterday is that their 37-29 loss, though shameful, was still nowhere near as embarrassing as the everyday lives of their mostly fat, pathetic fans. The Wisconsin based football team experienced back to back losses for the first time this season largely because Green Bay found themselves completely unable to stop Carolina quarterback Cam Newton in much the same way that their fans find themselves completely unable to move away from such a boring sh*thole of a town like Green Bay.
Green Bay Head Coach Mike McCarthy diagnosed his team’s main problem saying “They ran all over us out there. Our run defense had more holes in it than those stupid cheese head helmets our dumb fans wear on their bloated heads.”
Tensions in the locker room appear to be running high following the loss as two Packers players, Julius Peppers and HaHa Clinton-Dix, engaged in a shouting match on the sidelines of the game. It is unclear what exactly they were arguing about, but early reports indicate the dispute was over a woman. Both Peppers and Clinton-Dix are currently vying for the attention of the only attractive woman in Green Bay — a town mostly populated by women that closely resemble dairy cows both in weight and smell.
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