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Half of U.S. Would Vote for a Socialist, Think it Means “Someone Who is Good at Facebook”

at 5:45 pm | By

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Of the 1,527 Americans polled via phone, 47% of them said they would vote for a socialist if the person was well-qualified and in line with their party’s beliefs.

The report is shocking as it’s one of the highest percentages of Americans favoring a socialist agenda. However, after further investigation, the pollsters realized just about all of the Americans polled, had no idea what a socialist was, and confused it with someone that’s “adapt with using Facebook.”

One mother reported, “Oh yes my son is a socialist for work, he chirps all day and Facebooks [sic] for a big company. I’d vote for him.”

The 18 to 28 demographic were the most confused as one post-graduate admitted, “I’m a bit social media guru, actually, my klout is through the roof. I guess if they asked me, I could run for president.” Pollsters were not able to answer who “they” were.

In other studies, almost half of the people polled said they want a president they could drink a beer with, while a resounding majority of people said they’d love to smoke crack with the president.