OUTSIDE is_adminINSIDE is_adminHillary Clinton Decides Not To Run | The Farce Report
News so real... it probably isn't

Hillary Clinton Decides Not to Run

at 8:10 am | By

After a long dinner at the Clinton household in Chappaqua, New York with husband Bill, daughter Chelsea, and granddaughter Charlotte, Hillary Clinton decided not to run. The conversation lasted hours as the four dined on a rack of lamb, a healthy serving of roasted potatoes, and red wine. From politics to family to age, the night’s conversation focused on the future, and when they finished, Hillary announced, “That’s it, I’m not going to run. I’m headed straight to bed. I’ll exercise in the morning.”

Advisors to Clinton were stunned when they heard the news. “You know how it is,” said one advisor of health, otherwise known as a personal trainer, “At night, you say you’ll run in the morning. In the morning you’re too tired. So you say you’ll run at night. This is how people lose races. You need to commit early, set goals, and gather support from friends, especially if you intend to succeed at a healthy lifestyle.”

Last October, Clinton was practically begged to run by her entire party, the guests celebrating her 67th birthday. Clinton cited her troubles with one leg being longer than the other, which makes her lean slightly to the right, a lofty excuse at best. “You need to find a running mate,” suggested one party guest, “Someone with similar stride that can keep you on course.”

Hillary Clinton Holds Press Conference Over Email Controversy

(Photo by Getty Images / Yana Paskova / Stringer)

Clearly Hillary is still running President. However if you really want to get a closer look at how she is running , you need to check out these photos.  Whether you’re pro Hillary or not, once you understand how she is running, you’ll definitely be equipped to help, or not.

Yo! Hillary Runs

Hillary Clinton decides not to run

(Photo by Getty / JON LEVY / BigStock / Kletr)

Hillary is a yo-yo dieter. Here she is on a heavier day. She once reached 600 pounds.

Sagging Behind

Hillary Clinton decides not to run

(Photo by Getty / Andrew Burton / william murphy)

Here’s Hillary just before she decided to not run anymore. Older, saggier, it’s obvious why.

Share