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Hillary Clinton Spends Entire Speech with Hand Over Mouth Mumbling

Aug 4, 2015 at 4:21 pm |
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“If you vote for me, I swear I will, mmmbbrr drrr fllygg mmmummm…”

(Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)

(Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)

In a rousing speech by Hillary Clinton this week in Iowa, the Democratic candidate for president promised to, “tackle the hard issues such as fllmppip…. and cnnllddr.” Iowa voters leaned in to hear that last part but Clinton’s voice seemed to drift passed them. Clinton tapped the mic, as if it had cut out.

“Seriously,” she said, “I have huge plans for this country, like that one thing…” Clinton then placed a hand over her mouth as she said something, we think it was maybe taxes? Did she say fixing taxes? Tricking stashes? Mustaches? What was it?

Later, Clinton introduced her campaign’s mascot Pander the Panda and promised that she and Pander will, “tell you, the voters, exactly what you want to hear!”

When supporters became frustrated with Clinton’s inability to say anything that detailed a plan for her potential presidency, Clinton panicked and pointed to her husband Bill who then twerked until the audience forgot what they were mad about.

Clinton currently leads the Democratic polls.

“If you vote for me, I swear I will, mmmbbrr drrr fllygg mmmummm…”

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