“We call them gabies, and they’re a nuisance!”
Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee was recently criticized for taking a hardline stance on abortion, saying he would never support the procedure, even in cases of rape and incest. The former governor of Arkansas recently softened his stance though, admitting he would allow abortion in the event of a gay fetus.
Huckabee offered a theological explanation for his stance, saying “The scriptures tells us the sexuality of a baby can be determined through a sufficient amount of prayer to St. Ephesius, the patron saint of queer bashing. If a child is determined to be gay and the parents refuse in utero gay to straight conversion therapy, then, under my presidency, that fetus would be aborted to join Satan in Hell.”
In the same press conference, Huckabee unveiled other legislative goals for his presidency which included replacing math and science with “home ec” for every girl attending public school and a “Jew Tax” to help replace the objects antisemites have thrown through synagogue windows.
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