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It’s Swimsuit Season: Ready to Regret Everything You Ate This Winter?

at 11:49 am | By

large women in swimsuits

(Photo by Shutterstock)

Under the warmth of a wool sweater, there’s always room for dessert. But when spring gives way to summer, the chickens come home to roost.

And when those “chickens” are a couple dozen cheesecakes, and maybe a few actual chickens — the regret engine hits top gear.

How good was that leftover PF Chang’s eaten cold while staring blankly into the fridge at 2:00am this past October? It tasted like what dreadlocks smell like when it first hit the table, so chances are good that the 2nd pass at those Shanghai Monkey Noodles wasn’t really a highlight.

Swimsuit season isn’t coming. It’s here. And while children shriek for joy, we shriek for other reasons. Like trying on bathing suits while remembering that ham phase you went through around Christmas.

But when your present and past self are fighting like two Ray Charles backup singers, it’s time to look ahead, leave your regrets behind, and head to Target for one of those adorable Lilly Pulitzer wetsuits. They’re so floral!

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