During Wednesday’s Republican Presidential Debate, Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush admitted to smoking marijuana. This news shocked no one under the age of 70, but his mother was forced to ground him for two weeks. “Because of the rules my mom has in the house, I’ll be grounded for two weeks and also I won’t be able to go to the Halloween Dance. It’s a fair punishment, and I’m sorry Mom,” Jeb Bush said in an official apology in front of the Bush home.
Jeb still shares bunk beds with brother and former President George W. Bush, and has admitted to close friends that he’s getting unfair treatment. “I mean, Jeb feels like George gets away with murder. I mean he started the Iraq war for no reason, and he did cocaine! He didn’t even get in trouble,” said an anonymous friend. He’s also got a new nickname to deal with, Jeb Kush, which is trending on twitter since his admission on Wednesday.
“It’s just unfair, I do it once and it’s a nickname for life now,” Jeb confessed. “I’m this close to telling my mom that George W stands for George whacks off in the pantry! That’s a nickname that will stick.”
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