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John Cena Upset He’ll Have to Hang with 500 Children in Heaven

at 12:59 pm | By

“These kids make me sick sometimes.”

john cena sitting with children

(Photo by Andrew H. Walker / Getty)

John Cena made an appearance on the Today show to grant his 500th Make-a-Wish to a child with leukemia. Cena presented the boy with tickets to see him perform on an upcoming Monday Night Raw. Though praised for his charitable work, Cena talked with Farce to express his regret with helping all these children. “I called every one of these children my best friend. That means 500 plus children will want to be hanging out with me in heaven.”

Cena, admittedly, never thought about how this would effect his after-life game. “I was sure I’d get to bang Marilyn Monroe and Brittany Murphy, like back to back. But if I have 500 sickly children hanging around watching my every move, it’s going to be seriously hard.”

“You know what it’s like when two of your friends that don’t know each other hang out for the first time? It’s agonizing. Now imagine a bunch of bald, pale kids thinking I’m their #1 friend. I’ll never get a minute to myself!”

Cena sighed as he left to go deliver a birthday cake to a boy with the mumps. “Who gets the mumps anymore?” he asked himself.

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