“I hope I’m pleasantly surprised on our wedding night…”
For the first time in awhile for Kim Davis, things were looking up. After refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, being court-ordered to, and then thrown in jail for refusing still, Kim Davis had something to look forward to: her fifth and (fingers crossed) final wedding. The lucky groom? Davis’s cellmate Pat.
“He’s such a sensitive man, and a great listener.” Davis wrote to the Farce Report earlier this week. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, her dream fifth wedding was crushed when she wondered out loud one night, “Since when do they let men and women share cells?” That’s when her loving fiancé informed her they don’t.
The following confrontation, similar to a ‘Who’s on First’ routine, lasted over an hour until Davis realized something that seemed very obvious to Pat: he was a she.
After much consideration, Davis does not deny her love for Pat, and is still completely committed to her. Unfortunately, she will still deny the marriage license that they just filed, which raised the important question by Pat and all of America, “Why would you fill out a license application if you knew you were going to deny it? That’s a waste of like 20 minutes.”
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“I’ve never loved a man more in my life,” said Kim Davis.