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Kobe Bryant Unveils New Orthopedic, Velcro Shoes.

at 12:12 pm | By


kobe bryant

Credit: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Wearing a bathrobe, wife beater and a pair of slippers, Kobe Bryant unveiled his newest shoe: The Kobe Geriatrics. The shoes, available in either No Frills Black or Tapioca Pudding Beige, are orthopedic and fully fastened by Velcro “in case your arthritis is acting up.”

Kobe loves them because “they’re not too flashy, and they fit perfectly with the special insoles the doctor gave me for my hip pain.”

Though he has not worn them in a game yet, Bryant was spotted with the new Kobe Gerrys, as he was chasing a group of “whipper snappers” off his property.

“These kids think they can just step all over a man’s lawn and keep their frisbee?” an out of breath Bryant asked reporters.


Credit: Propet USA

“Well they got another thing coming, I’ll tell you that much. Matter of fact, I’ll be telephoning their parents tonight. It’s about time someone learned some manners around here.”

Bryant will be debuting his new shoe at the Staples Center when the Lakers take on the Detroit Pistons on December 6th at 3pm. The shoe unveiling was originally scheduled for much earlier in the season, but Bryant has decided he will only be playing day games for the rest of his career, as he’s developed the habit of eating dinner at 4:30 pm, sharp, and starts getting sleepy around 7:30.

At press time, Bryant was chastising his teammates for playing their music too loud in the locker room.

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