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Local Wedding Proves Unworthy of Ironed Shirt

at 2:23 pm | By
ironed shirt at a wedding

(Photo by iStock / Halfpoint)

Emotions ran high at a local wedding when Terry Deuce, 28, discovered a cash bar and no live band.

“I brought a pocket flask of prison wine I made myself, but it’s the principle of the thing,” Terry said. “You know how long it took to iron this boss shirt? 20 minutes. You’d think it would be less ‘cause it’s short sleeved, but no, a full 20.”

Terry added, “Glad I didn’t iron these pants. I’d be madder than a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs if I ironed my pants for a damn cash bar and some kid playing his iPod.”

When reached for comment, the hosts said only, “The main reason we didn’t have an open bar was because of Terry. If we let him anywhere near free gin he gets super hands-y.”