In what one woman is calling, “the best thing that ever happened to me,” Linda Berade recounted the events that did not take place between 10 pm and 6am on Tuesday, March 31st.
“My heel was stuck in some kind of grate in the sidewalk, and all of a sudden, a semi-truck was coming straight for me.” Linda had already begun to perspire as she told the story, “Then, literally,” (but totally not literally) “I was swept off my feet by this gorgeous man…” she hesitated, “In a tuxedo! Yes, a tuxedo.” Linda’s best friends had gathered around to sigh and ooh at the story as reporters were squeezed out.
“The man,” Linda sang, “Oh, he was a dream.”
Indeed he was. All of Linda’s story was completely fabricated, but when she told her friends this, they gathered closer, as most reporters left. “I think it’s a sign,” Linda’s very best friend told her, “You’re going to meet that dream man soon.”
Linda seemed hopeful that she would, and here at Farce, we hope she does find that dream man.
UPDATE: April 1st 2015, Linda was struck by a truck early this morning. A man in a tuxedo witnessed the tragic accident. “I wanted to save her,” he said, “But I had my hands full with two ice cream cones. One for me and one for my girlfriend. So, you know.”