As spokesperson for the tequila brand Sauza 901, Justin Timberlake has transformed himself into a lime-man. That is, a man that’s also a lime, for a 3 minute commercial featuring the rise and fall of his character Rick “Sour” Vane. The makeup, which took six hours every day to apply, made Timberlake look like a giant mutant swamp lime, bloated and moldy.
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Surprisingly, however, Farce polls show that a majority of women would rather sleep with Justin Timberlake’s mutant body than their own husbands and boyfriends. “My husband is one bad shellfish away from looking like that anyway,” said one women who asked to remain nameless – but we said ‘screw it,’ her name is Taryn D’Ellen. “This is Justin Timberlake. I’d sleep with his dead, rotting body if I got the chance.”
To flip sides, we presented men with an image of Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos from the movie Monster.
“It’s still Charlize Theron, right?” one grody-looking man we actually mistook for Rick “Sour” Vane said. “If I get to say I porked Theron, hell, I’d sleep with her dead, rotting body.”
The poll ended shortly thereafter once this reporter realized he had walked into a Necrophiliacs Anonymous Meeting.