News so real... it probably isn't

Man Calls Police For Being Too High, Found Guilty of “Being a Lightweight”

at 3:40 pm | By

Was this his first time?

dude being arrested for weed

Credit: Shutterstock

Ohio man Eric Kwendo, who called police and told them he was “too high” on marijuana, was found guilty of 1st degree “Being a Light Weight,” by a Mahoning County Court earlier this morning.

The 22-year-old resident of Austintown, Ohio, who contacted police because he was so intoxicated he could not feel his hands, was discovered lying in “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies,” according to police.

Though it is Mr. Kwendo’s first offense, Judge John Kerning has chosen to make an example of the young man, sentencing him to 6 months of no Family Guy and ordering him to remove all of the Bob Marley posters in his bedroom.

Additionally, Kwendo has been banned from looking up at the stars and saying the phrase “what does it all mean, man,” until he can rip a 3 foot bong without coughing.

Think you can smoke this kid out? SHARE this article!