News so real... it probably isn't

Man Invents Sarcasm Font, Becomes Millionaire

at 9:45 am | By
Sarcasm font on three different phones

(Photo by DRosa)

TEMPE, AZ – Last week Terry Bleaker was working at CVS. This week he went jet shopping.

These transformations happen when you invent something that saves lives or powers cities. And sometimes they happen to people like Mr. Bleaker whose invention is unlikely to do either.

“I sent my boss an email joking about some missing equipment at the store I was working at,” said Mr. Bleaker while standing beside his new G4 jet. “I told her I sold it all to buy a pillowcase full of BBQ-flavored meth. She didn’t get the joke and kicked me to the curb that afternoon,” Mr. Bleaker said.

It was that moment when Terry Bleaker was struck with a life-changing idea: what if sarcasm had its own font?

In a few days, Mr. Bleaker had a font made by taking italics and simply reversing the direction it leaned. The week after that, he was in the middle of a bidding war over what one expert called “the most significant advancement in language since the printing press.”

Mr. Bleaker sold his font for $144.7 million dollars, got 4 tattoos removed, and began packing for a trip around the world to see where each Rocky movie was filmed.

“I don’t even think they make flavored meth,” Mr. Bleaker added as his jet made final preparations to depart