In an effort to impress a woman he met on the dating app Tinder, local man Matt Listing spent two hours pretending he reads last night. Listing, a social media manager for a series of car dealerships, had completely discussed every book he’d actually read within 20 minutes of meeting his date, an English professor at a community college named Melissa. Rather than change the subject though, Listing proceeded to lie for the remainder of the evening, not only claiming that he had read every single book his date was mentioning, but also, at times, completely fabricating novels and authors and claiming he “couldn’t believe” Melissa had never heard of them.
Whenever pressed to describe what his favorite part about a specific work was, Listing often repeated the word “theme” and “thematic” and said he thought the writing was “rich and complex.” When asked a very specific question on Infinite Jest, the 1079 page book by David Foster Wallace which he claimed to have read “a bunch of times,” Listing faked the need to urinate and went into the bathroom to read the book’s cliff notes.
“I don’t think there’s going to be a date two,” Melissa said, telling reporters she found her date to be too much of a “book snob.”
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