News so real... it probably isn't

Man With Bee Beard Admits Most Are Flies

at 11:59 am | By

 

man with bee beard

Source: Instagram @whateverskateboard

In a shocking confession by Forester Makewheel, the record-holder for biggest bee beard in the world, has admitted that about 85% of his beard is actually regular flies and not bees. This has made quite the buzz throughout the bee community as Makewheel was one of the most highly respected bee beard-wearers to ever live.

“You don’t know the kind of pressure I was put through with these bee beards.” Makewheel confessed. “Every year, at the annual Bee Beard Bonanza, people were demanding bigger, better, and more impressive beards. I had reached over 2,000 bees on my face, and well, I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have anymore bees.”

Rather than buying more bees, Makewheel instead, invested his money in a cheaper, lighter insect the fly. “I realized I could create a foundation of flies covered by the bees. It was lighter, and it made me feel stronger.” Makewheel twisted his bee mustache, “You know, at first it was just a couple hundred flies, but fame gets to your head, and you can’t stop.”

By the height of Makewheels fame, he was buying flies by the truckloads, he couldn’t stop. Thankfully he was helped by his longtime friend and record holder for longest fingernails, Shridhar Chillandre. “He wrapped his long fingernails around me and held me, told me it’s okay, and that it was time to come clean,” Makewheel said in a tearful confession. “Please forgive me!”

Unfortunately Makewhee’s pleas fell upon deaf ears, however, as one young fan took the news particularly hard.

“I used to want to be an unshowered man with overalls on that covered his face with insects, but now I’m not so sure. Now I think maybe I’ll be a doctor or something.”

Should Makewheel be shamed forever? SHARE this article!

Share