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Medicine Price Hiked So Former Hedge Fund Bro Can Get A Fleet Of G5’s

at 3:09 pm | By

“AIDS sound like they suck.”


Martin Shkreli complete jerk posing

Credit: Twitter @Independent

Martin Shkreli, 32, the founder and chief executive of Turing Pharmaceuticals, purchased the rights to Daraprim for $55 million. The drug is used to help treat patients who have AIDS and cancer. “My mom always told me to make the world a better place and do something to make her proud. So I’m making a fortune off of people that are sick with deadly diseases,” Shkreli said. “I need more bank, bro. That gets cars, bitches, and planes. If I can make money off AIDS, I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

Shkreli was a former hedge fund manager, and got tired of that life after he found there was a lot of sleazy, rich people looking to make money off of other people’s money. So he decided to get into medicine, where he is, by far, the sleaziest guy. “I mean there is money to be made off of sick people. I’m surprised more people don’t do it. I mean I’d love to get into the organ transplant biz, and make a killing on liver and kidneys by hiking up the price. I’d love to get into to this abortion game while it’s still legal too. Lots of money to be made there. I could hike up that price and buy that Caribbean island I’ve always wanted,” Martin confessed.

For now, patients can pay $750 a pill instead of $13.50. Shirley McKenna helps with her brother’s healthcare. “I told him, you can either get a new laptop or not have AIDS for a day. But we only have enough money for you to not have AIDS for one day. It’s definitely made things difficult,” McKenna said. The price has opened up the market for alternative medicines. The inventors of “5 hour Energy” have released a “Feel Less AIDS’Y Tea” which only cost $5 but the company stresses that the tea has “no actual medical evidence that it helps treat AIDS.”

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