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Muslim Televangilst to Birth Triplets from his Hands

at 1:44 pm | By

Mücahid Cihad Han plans to birth triplets from his fingernails.

The Turkish televangelist who has made headlines recently for claiming that those who masturbate will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, has announced that he’s, in fact, pregnant. Actually, very pregnant with triplets!

“I can’t wait to be a father of three gorgeous fingernail babies,” claimed Mücahid Cihad Han.

The self-styled televangelist who told the world to “resist Satan’s temptations,” said he couldn’t resist George Clooney’s eyes in Tomorrowland, which Mücahid admits he saw three times over the weekend. Three tickets to Tomorrowland, three fingernail babies? We think we know what happened…