Let the party start.
NASA administrator Charlie Bolden announced a discovery that will likely shake the scientific world to its core this morning: photographs taken by the Mars Reconnaissance Rover confirm there is a flowing, life supporting liquid on Mars, though it is not the one you would expect.
“During a routine collection mission on the south side of the planet, our Mars Rover detected a trickle of liquid that, when followed to its source, led to an underground lake of Four Loko,” Bolden told reporters this morning.
“Furthermore, based on various artifacts discovered around the lake, it appears we can confirm that there is life on Mars, and that they like to party.”
The artifacts Bolden was referring to include a neon, article of clothing that read “my bros went to the Mars Four Loko Lake and all I got was this tank top,” as well as lines of a fine, white powdery substance different from the red sand of Mars. Scientists are speculating that it is Space Cocaine.
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Watch the full announcement below:
A Mars mission isn’t only a hope, it’s a necessity.