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New Plan Would Let Trump Bang Wife of any Immigrant He Chooses

at 5:27 pm | By
(Photo by shutterstock / Getty Images / DON EMMERT)

Photo by shutterstock/Getty Images/DON EMMERT

Donald Trump unveiled a new immigration plan that would include construction of a physical wall at the U.S.-Mexico border, end birthright citizenship, and allow Trump to bang any immigrant’s wife he chooses.

“We are the only country in the world whose immigration system puts the needs of other nations ahead of our own,” said Trump. “That must change. I am the man to do it and I think I deserve a little foreign trim for my troubles.”

The “Presidential Dibs” provision of Trump’s plan has drawn the ire of immigrants to this country who object to having sex with a man who so closely resembles a giant sack of spray tanned oatmeal.

Trump, however, insists all women he chooses will have a “classy, sensual” evening and “will be satisfied so deeply they may consider leaving their husbands.”

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