A new report released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics finds that most employees working late are just checking Facebook until their boss leaves for the day.
“Our research indicates that most employees are willing to aimlessly scroll through social media while faking a look of concentration for up to 45 minutes after 5 o’clock in the hopes that their immediate supervisor will see them and mistake their time wasting for dedication,” said report co-author Linda Brankley adding that researchers discovered a strong link between boss absences and lunch breaks lasting up to 150% longer than technically allowed.
“The data revealed that employees that exhibit this kind of behavior are the same ones that bring ziploc bags to company functions where free, catered food is available and often end up inappropriately drunk at holiday parties. Furthermore, we determined these employees are twice as likely to read emails and not respond to them until someone follows up with them in person.”
No subjects of the study could be reached for comment, though the Farce Report attempted to call their work phones, they were all away from their desks, pretending to use the bathroom while watching Netflix on their phones.
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