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New Species of Human Discovered to be Kim Davis’ Fourth Husband

at 5:22 pm | By

“He’s an animal in the sack!”


new species of human in farmer hat

Source: Twitter @CNN; Shutterstock

Scientists in South Africa have discovered the remains of an early human ancestor– Homo-Naledi and, DNA evidence from the dig appears to prove that Kim Davis’ 4th husband, Joe, is himself a member of the species.

The Homo Naledi are described by archaeologists as having ⅓ the brain of modern humans and terrible eyesight. Which explains Joe Davis’ habit of describing his wife as smart and easy on the eyes.

Davis, for her part, was distraught about the news. “I really love Joe, but if his species helps prove evolution, I think we might have to get divorced. I won’t be married to someone that helps advance science, even indirectly.”

When asked for his side of the story, Joe Davis was quoted as saying “Joe sad.”

A few moments later, after an overbearing stench entered the room, he followed up his comments with “Joe make oops in overalls.”

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