In a stunning turn that has sent many dashing to the trash folders of their email accounts, an actual Nigerian prince just paid Ruth Dennis of Wisconsin $5 million.
Dennis met with reporters to explain her good fortune. “April was quite a lucky month. I got this email from an African prince saying he just needed a couple thousand dollars and I’d get back $5 million in return. I also won 3 different contests I entered by downloading these nice toolbars for my Internet program.”
Prince Igwe Kenneth Onyeneke Orizu III, who is now a king, has been trying to get his family’s fortune unfrozen for years, but was unable to secure the modest loan needed to fight the case. He thought he would be able to start a small business to raise the funds, but his revolutionary penis enlargement pills, although heavily advertised online, got very few customers and ended up costing him more than it made.