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Obnoxious Friend Just Lucky His Family has a Pool

at 2:00 pm | By
(Photo by AvailableLight / istock)

(Photo by AvailableLight / istock)

Rolling her eyes after one of Richie O’Brien’s racist jokes, Rose Lerner admitted to reporters that her rude, boring friend was just lucky his family had a pool.

“It’s been really hard keeping my mouth shut when he says things like ‘homeless people should work harder’ and ‘Michael Bay is an underrated director’, but I mean, this pool has a jacuzzi” said Lerner, before drinking a Strawberry Daiquiri from the O’Brien family minibar.

Mr. O’Brien, who has been using familial wealth to offset his horrific personality since his mother rented out an entire Chuck E. Cheese’s for his 6th birthday party, is completely comfortable with the arrangement. In fact, sources indicate he plans to guilt Lerner into making out with him later in the summer.

At press time, Ms. Lerner was googling ‘are public pools dirty’ while O’Brien yelled at the family maid for bringing him a warm Bud Light Limearita.