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Office Funny Guy Disappoints All After Going Sober

at 8:52 am | By

Office Funny Guy Disappoints All After Going Sober

Gary “The Clowner” Stevenson has left the entire office of BrainFlyer Marketing in a state of confusion. After years of goofs and gags, Stevenson has lost all interest in joking with his co-workers, even banter diminished to a few hellos and grunts. That’s because the 32-year old bachelor has gone sober. Reports from friends of Gary say it’s the best thing for his health and well-being.

“It’s bullshit,” said Frank Jentler, the strategy manager, “The only thing keeping me at this dead-end job was the laughs. Last Friday, everything was great, Gary showed up to work with a vintage popcorn maker for no reason. Like, the real thing. Made popcorn for everyone, walked around with a fake mustache, and talked like an old vaudeville carny. Today, I heard him crying in the bathroom.”

Co-workers voiced similar concerns, “I feel like I’ll have to start drinking just to get through the day,” one said, while another plotted to serve Gary a rum cake for his birthday.

“It’s a good idea,” Jentler nodded, “Unfortunately, his birthday isn’t for another five months. The bastard.”